[IMAGE] Positivity thought

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MarkWallace101 :
Just make sure this isn't all they tell you.
Are you sure?
bitee1 :
"How do you know that is true?"
"What evidence could change your mind?"
[deleted] :
chop1125 :
I think there is an important lesson here, but that there is more nuance than what the tweet allows for. You need people who will cheer you on, lift you up, and empower you. You also need people who are willing to challenge you, push you outside of your comfort zone, and willing to say no to you. The point is that you need both in your circle. Too much of either it’s not the ideal.
Yes! My best friend/roommate is amazing but only ever agrees with every single thing I say without a second thought. I love her but I need someone in my life to challenge me. It makes me feel complacent and like I don't even know how to handle when people disagree with me anymore.
NoPlantain9426 :
Thanks Todd, for reminding me I have no circle..
Yeah my circle is basically a dot. I can't wait to graduate to line segment
ppardee :
Surround yourself with better people than that rapper who thought a cello was a woodwind instrument and made a nonsensical reference on his song because of it. Dude had like 15 producers who knew better and no one said "Um... you don't blow into a cello, my man."
Lil Yachty- "Squidward Plays a Clarinet, I got it." https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thefader.com/2017/05/29/lil-yachty-peek-a-boo-cello/amp
nyanlol :
i can only find people who NEVER tell me that shit or are so relentlessly critical i cant keep them in my life
I say things like this to my partner a lot, I try to get her to see the other sides of arguments (especially with her family members). It causes fights. Me doing that has probably caused most of our fights. She'll come to me to complain about an argument and instead of blindly supporting her, I'll ask questions about what the other person was saying, and a lot of what's in this post. I think the reason that it's hard to find people that do this is because it causes so much tension, and possibly that when someone DOES do it to you, you may think they're not
daari_tappida_maga :
Where do I find these people
They identify as 'virgo'
shotleft :
Step 1: make sure your circle has people.

jay_22_15 :
keyword is "place of love" my friends were just assholes.

Nimar_Jenkins :
If the people around you dont tell you what they honestly think, then what the hell are yall doing beeing around each other?

Sounds good on paper but the reality is People don’t like that person in the real world
Hopefully those are not the only four things you're known to say. Always back up those statements with a sound reason and find/give positive feedback when true. If that still doesn't show your positive contribution, then is that person really worth a lot of the so little time you have on this planet?
[deleted] :
More importantly make sure you surround yourself with people that can better you and not hold you back.

Emergency_Aide633 :
I absolutely need someone who is willing to challenge my thinking politely. I suffer from...well, something, I don't know what exactly, and I don't pick up on most social cues and I have problems understanding how to respond to things, but if someone is there and willing to be patient with me, I'll put in my best effort to do right.

Ysoserious- :
Most people can’t stand the thought of people disagreeing with their actions. The moment they find a friend who tries to advise them to be/do better they’ll get ridiculed and humiliated and all the other yes men in the group will join and claim it’s “just banter” everything is a joke in today’s society. Used to be a time when you would judge a person based on their character and actions. Now we judge people based on their status, how much money they make and what car they drive because that’s the image of a “successful” person regardless of what route they took to get there.
People used to be judged because they were seen with someone lower class than them. People used to be judged based on how well they maintain their lawn. People used to be judged because they wore a dress that was above the knee. Dont wear a suit to work? you must be beneath me. People have always been way more prudish than they are now. Men especially are so much less judgmental to other men nowadays. So many guys I've hung around with celebrate differences and bullying isn't cool anymore. Men will hold other men accountable for their actions now. And I'm in rural USA. I strongly disagree with this comment, but I understand its always easier to view the past as better than the present.
girlsledisko :
It’s important to have friends that challenge you, but it’s a fine line between challenging and holding you back when it comes to certain endeavours.
Uhh.. that was really inappropriate
Romelikethecity :
Yeah, the people in my life do NOT understand this concept.

EretzTachtit :
We have a friend in our circle that always offers an opposing opinion... to everything. I remember telling her about a youtuber I follow that had his barn burn down because it was struck by lightning, alot of his animals died and it was really sad. She responded with "Well, maybe he was a bad person? Ya know, karma? Maybe he did some fucked up shit in the past or something, you never know" Point is, having a person offer another way to think about things all the time can get annoying, real quick.

joeyggg :
I had some crazy get rich quick ideas in my early 20s that I shared with some of the more successful people I knew. Nobody came right out and told me it was a bad idea which I later saw as a bit of a betrayal. Although it’s probably better not to get between a fool and their folly.

bisexual_lemon_69420 :
I stoped doing drugs out of spite (6 years clean)

Swagnets :
Can you imagine real people ever talking like this?
I get “no” and “that was inappropriate” pretty often.
NHDraven :
Best thing I did was cut out all my enablers for shitty behavior(s).

KomputerIdiat :
Pfft. Not only do I include them, those are the only ones that I have.

Michael_chipz :
Nice try but first I need friends

2016sixdays :
Make sure you have friends that'll say yea youre in the wrong..... but we can still kick his ass!

Olivineyes :
It gets tiresome being that friend

pollito825 :
its called anxiety

thwgrandpigeon :
Machiavelli had similar advise to Princes. Ignore most people's opinions, since people are idiots, and a person who listens to everyone will never be decisive when the time comes to make a decision, but keep a small circle of knowledgeable and wise people close by, and make sure that at least one of them often disagrees with you.

b2j135 :
Who the fuck outside of work says "that was inappropriate"? 🤣 I jest LOL I get it though it is always good to have somebody that's mature and empathetic in your circle

flipflop180 :
So, basically, talk to my mom.

Thisisjimmi :
Recruit one karen to get all check boxes in one.
How is that being a karen?
chillifocus :

d_rickards :
Thanks...I needed to see this today.

Vexbane_Aramori :
im for all options except the inappropriate one. not gonna cater to a made up magical barrier :v
That's what a rapist would say
brelincovers :
Kinda seems like he’s saying you should have people around you that make you conform to society
He's saying, you should have people around you who will pull your head out of your own ass so you don't start believing that your own shit don't stink.
Santosxpc :
My dad, my mom, my wife and my mother in law the

[deleted] :
If you hear "that was inappropriate" often, the problem is definitely you.
t0pd0g420 :
It’s called mom or dad

[deleted] :
god sure challenges me every day with some grade-A lactose intolerance.

Tweed_Man :
Make sure your group has a Dungeon Master in it.

Eazy_T69 :
These people sound boring as fuck lol

kejovo :
Nah, Im good the only people who challenge me are MAGAHAGS so I must be doing it right

VTGCamera :
"you have bad breath", "you have a bugger", "take a shower"... All of that without making a scene, far from everyone else, whispering if possible

killertortilla :
Also “you’re being unnecessarily combative” is a good one.

Il_Capitano_DickBag :
I don't know, that just sounds like my wife

MaKeWoN :

Pierr0x :
I just said something to someone that I care about. He knows his parents have health issues, yet refuses to get vaccinated, just because he doesn't like needles. I've said something really insensitive and I feel bad about it. Hopefully I did the right thing.

Sir_Sensible :
Reddit, are you listening to this?

No_Lawfulness_2998 :
Or you could just be me and not have a circle, or even have the option to have a circle.

Helmfire :
Learned that many friends are just enabling bad behaviors or unsupportive because they get something out of it. Even the friends with good intentions can say the wrong things. Social interactions are tough :(

ArsonRides :
This is why I have my Token Mormon friend

stevenwadejr :
Someone should have told this to George Lucas before he made the prequels.

bickid :
Disagree. We need people who go through and follow us to our craziest, most insane ideas. There are too many people out there already telling you to not do something. Don't need 'friends' who do the same.

I have never met a single person who pushes back out of a place of love.

djh860 :
What makes you think I need that sort of advice?

gibbylewd :
Make sure your circle includes: A doctor. A lawyer. A lieutenant. An accountant. A veterinarian. A psychedelic obsessed mad man Edit: formatting

AdamtheFirstSinner :
I'm working on tryna convince one of my closest friends to quit eating Dominos and Papa John's and switch to a local pizza joint. I think I'm getting through to her. She needs someone to tell her to stop, for crying out loud...

whimsyma33 :
Every good Dungeons and Dragons group.

Oudeis16 :
And on the flip side: Be willing to *be* that person. I just had to cut someone out of my life because they have an asshole friend who constantly bullies me, and they think there is some virtue to pure loyalty no matter who it is to, so they side with their old friend when he's being an obvious asshole, just to be loyal to their friend. Sucks cuz apart from that one blindspot he's been a decent friend.

alulugrace :
it took way too much time for me to understand this. i read the lines as a dialogue and was very confused.

Fpottytraining :
My husband constantly makes this point. We no longer hold each other to a standard so things have slowly gone to shit. We are too *mind your own business* oriented to point out when something is wrong. I actually did an "Social Deviant" experiment on this for Sociology class, I actually went around the city and pointed out things that were illegal or inappropriate and recorded responses and reactions. I even had to explain to my Sociology professor that my deviance was *speaking up*.

ZiggyZee :
People don’t want real friends …they want enablers and “yes” people.
You're right bro, you're so right.
SuicideWind :
But if I tell my wife that ima bad person who doesn't want her to grow

notarealsmurf :
is this the best reddit post ive ever seen? yes, yes it is

KangarooAggressive81 :
If you have no friends nobody can tell you you're wrong

throwawayedm2 :
Don't agree with the last one, but the rest is good advice

soarin_tech :
I need someone like this.

rogue_eyebrow :
So hang around with those who constant criticize you? No thanks.
This isn't about criticism. It's about having people in your circle who are honest with you and push you to be better. If you're being closed-minded, immoral or irresponsible, a good friend will call you on it without being a jerk.
Tee_H :
well... Do I need one since I have these in my head all the time?

Introfinitely :
Common sense...

iwasahardcoreironman :
I have an older coworker who I have different viewpoints than who I’m friends with. Today he warned me about walking under our safety ropes. Two years ago I would’ve told him to leave me alone; today I took a moment to thank him for trying to reach out and keep me safe, and after a second thought I realized he was right. Just breathe, friends, everyone’s not out to get us, we’re all just living our best lives the way we know. :)

Tasty_Commission_449 :
Just met a friend who does this for me. Anytime I have to vent, he always sees my point of view, but always makes sure I understand the point of view of the other. It often puts things into perspective. Many years and it took this long to find a friend like this.

falconshadow21 :
I don't have any friends